Childhood Myths Sabotaging Your Ethical Communications Strategy

In today’s era of increasing mistrust, I find myself reflecting a lot on my beliefs and biases. And that made me think a lot about my childhood.

I can’t remember what I had for breakfast, but I remember my first grade bully. I got called a weird girl with a "mustache." I mean... valid. But I was crushed. My teacher pulled me aside and offered that classic advice: “Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words will never hurt you.” 

It was well-intentioned and, at the time, it worked. But as a grown adult who has dedicated her career to communications specializing in climate (and for the record, a woman who is no longer ashamed of my ability to grow a 'stache), I’ve realized that logic is flawed.

I still think about that moment because it proves the opposite: Words, especially harmful words, stick. 

Communicators have figured this out and have spent decades utilizing fear-based tactics, which can spark short-term, quick action on channels like the internet, because words can’t definitely hurt, but overall creates dissonance and even avoidance.  Businesses should stop aiming to make people change what they believe or manufacture "desire.” Instead, it’s about channeling their personalized, existing desire into their solutions.

Strategic communication increasingly requires personalization: As the Yale Program on Climate Change Communication highlights in their Global Warming’s Six Americas study, the public is not a monolith when it comes to climate. Over the past ten years, the Alarmed have grown more than any other audience, from 11 percent in 2015 to 25 percent in 2025.

To move people across the spectrum of belief, we must trade universal "fear-mongering" for personalized values-alignment. Doing this effectively requires unlearning as much as learning. It turns out, my early years were full of lessons on how not to communicate.

The Affirmations Flop: Why Your Communications Strategy Needs More Than Just "Nice" Words

I was often told as a kid that if I was feeling down, just repeat affirmations in the mirror like "I am brave," "I am confident,” we will eventually believe it. I’ve always personally couldn’t help but cringe when told to do this and there is a reason…while a nice sentiment, it misses a fundamental biological truth: the subconscious mind that doesn't unlock for just any "nice" word. 

Logic and "nice" language are the conscious mind’s domain. But real change happens in the subconscious, which is fueled by emotion and neurochemistry. Studies show when we tell stories, we release cortisol (attention), oxytocin (empathy), dopamine (reward).

Interestingly, we learn that in therapy:

• “The ‘I am good enough’... that part is easy. What we need is repetition of emotions and imagery, because reputation fires and wires neural pathways, and emotions and images due it at the subconscious level.” - Thais Gibson , Pastoral Counselor, PhD

• Psychologist Jerome Bruner’s research found that facts are 20 to 22 times more likely to be remembered if they are part of a story.

If your communications strategy relies on "being right" or "having the facts," you’re just talking to the mirror. To move people to action, you have to strike at the emotional core with values-driven messaging. In climate, for example, you don't build a movement by saying you're sustainable; you build it by making people feel the stakes.

The Sports Car Fallacy: Shifting Your Brand Narrative from "Me" to "We"

I grew up in a town where a nice pickup truck was more awe-worthy than a Ferrari. I remember the first time I rode in a truly nice car. The driver looked at me and said, “See all those people looking at us? They’re thinking about how cool we are.”

I felt like a rockstar. But over time I’ve realized the truth: No one was looking at us. They were looking at the car and imagining how cool they would look in the driver's seat.

Humans are wired to be the protagonists of their own stories, and also research has shown, to be cooperative. Too often, company copy and reports are written like the guy in the sports car, reflecting about how great they are. If you want people to care about your mission, stop talking about your "values" and start talking about their lives, bringing them in as a partner.

How do I move from “Me” to “We” Communications?

• Who is the protagonist? If the subject of most sentences is "Our company" or "Our mission," you’re the man in the car. Shift the subject to the audience: "Your community," "Your family," "Your legacy."

• Are you selling the car or the seat? Don't just list your organization's achievements (the specs). Describe the experience of the person using your solution.

• Is there an open door? A "Me" narrative is a closed loop. A "We" narrative invites partnership. Use collaborative language like "Building together," "Your role in this shift," and "Co-creating a solution."

• Does it solve their "Saturday Morning"? Don't just talk about, for example, saving the planet in 2050. Talk about how your strategy makes their world better, safer, or more prosperous today.

  
  

Conclusion? We are emotionally-driven, self-interested, collaborative, & story-loving creatures.

For me, I found some insights on values-driven messaging by unlearning some childhood narratives:

• "Sticks and Stones" Lie: The belief that words don’t hurt or fear-based messaging is the ultimate catalyst for action.

• The "Affirmation" Flop: The idea that communicators can create desire through the right “nice words.”

• The "Sports Car" Fallacy: The trap of the "Me" versus "We" mentality. Focusing solely on individual status or ego-driven benefits ignores our fundamental need for community and shared purpose.

  
  

If we want to build connections in this era of distrust, and enhance our organization as communicators, we have to stop reciting the old adages and start writing new stories, the ones that actually stick, the values-driven messaging frameworks. 

And side-note: can we stop shaming women for having body hair? We grow body hair. We also grow human lives. So suck it. After all, when we stop pretending and start being human, the message sticks.